The Retarded Jerk

The Retarded Jerk desperately needed a sword that they would sometimes break. This is certainly an odd undertaking, to me and my parents, but not to the Jerk, who thinks it was amazing. You wouldnt have imagined, a sword is the item to choose.

The Retarded Jerk owned a can of Dr Pepper to sleep with. This seems to be a fairly odd exercise, to me and my husband, but not to the Jerk, who expected that this idea is simply life. Honestly, a can of Dr Pepper is the item that was chosen.

The Retarded Jerk needed a rubber johnny that they would sometimes experiment on. One might find this to be an unusual exercise, to many, but not to the Jerk, who assumed that the idea was the most awesome idea. Honestly, a rubber johnny is the item to opt for.

The Retarded Jerk desperately craved for a bag of poop that they would experiment on. This might appear to be a fairly strange action, to me and my parents, but not to the Jerk, who feels that this idea was awesome. Honestly, a bag of poop being the thing selected.

The Retarded Jerk desperately wanted a pint of cider that they would occasionally cuddle. This could be considered a fairly odd action, to my neighbour, but not to the Jerk, who had come to the conclusion that this idea was wonderful. A pint of cider being the thing selected.

The Retarded Jerk always carried a piece of paper that they would eat. This seems to be a fairly original thought, to many, but not to the Jerk, who thinks that this idea is the most awesome idea. Honestly, a piece of paper having that done to it