Validation rabbit hole

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The desire to be liked can cause people to be dishonest in conversations. That desire makes you fall into a trap where you start to adjust your thoughts to what people want to hear. You become overly careful to the point you have to pay attention to too much details, you're always measuring the effect your opinion has. You'll put so much attention into measuring your words to avoid confrontation, to a point where you become silent. It's not like you're acting out of wisdom, you're trying not to lose some validation points from people.

When someone doesn’t want to offend someone, that can be kind, but that same thing can be cowardly.

The truth will get painful at some point. The truth comes from honesty and it'll be helpful or it can be hurtful, uncomfortable and likely to create friction in a relationship. Some people want to avoid that so they just say what people want to hear.

Not saying the truth costs a lot. It costs friends, it costs the ability to change people's actions. It costs the necessity to say what needs to be said. When a person settles for some sort of vague niceness, lots of people and situations go unhelpfully validated.

People who really want to be nice don't end up meaning much to anyone. People cannot be both liked and the person that speaks truthfully. Those roles don't coexist always. The most valued people in relationships and conversations are the ones that speak honestly and plain. I might sugar coat a little bit I'll make sure you got the message.

This honesty requires the mentality of not needing some people to like you. Most would rather be nice than honest.

Being honest would end you at a spot where you have to sacrifice some level of comfort. Choose your poison. Because someone who tries to avoid offending anyone isn't being tactful, in the long run it's pointless.

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